You are not your exercise routine.

Crossfitter.

Gymnast.

Yogi.

Powerlifter.

Gym rat.

Cyclist.

Hiker.

Bodybuilder.

Kickboxer.

Dancer.

Rock climber.

Titles we inevitably work very hard to earn.  To legitimize. This is no easy badge to wear.  We likely have invested hundreds of hours in our activity of choice to become known as and feel worthy of a title like these.  We have achieved a level of mastery above many of our peers or coworkers. We have seen results in our bodies and minds and now trust that the activity is a worthwhile expenditure of our limited resources.

It’s probable you have begun to self-identify as one of the names above.  However, the best form of a fitnessy-label comes from the outside. Someone else calls you a Yogi, so you must be one.  It’s THAT evident. Or you spend 2 hours per day in a dark weight room, lifting as heavy as you can, wearing your hoodie and taking swigs of the latest fizzy pre-workout beverage.  Someone at work happens to notice your arms seem bigger than before and, “You must work out” is given as the justification for the change. Boom. Verified weightlifter/bodybuilder. Everyone can see the product of your labor right in front of them, bulging out from under those puny sleeves, helpless against the power of your blooming new triceps.

But the final confirmation is the sweetest.  This is when a member of the elite labels you as one of their own.  The woman with the most poise and grace in the whole class calls you a great dancer. The climber who flashes 5.13’s comments that your beta is infallible.  The coach says your improvement with thrusters is the best he’s seen all year from anyone and maybe you should help bring beginners up to speed. Someone with the power to induct you into the marbled halls of the elite has claimed you belong.

Like a variation of ancient coming-of-age traditions, you’ve made it. You killed the lion, drank the cow’s blood, wore the gloves full of bullet ants, and are given this identity.

Accept it with caution.

Yes, you have focused your efforts and resources.  Yes, you have realized results. Yes, you have been recognized by a community as a valid participant.  But are these positives? These are not objectively negative things. However, assuming an identity based on them is something to handle with great caution. The problem I have with weaving your identity into the activity you enjoy is that it’s a petty representation of who you are.  As a person, you are a citizen, a family member, an employee (possibly an employer), a friend, a human. Your depth and beauty and power are vast. Almost incomprehensible.

If your identity is decided by your actions, your worth is measured by your results.

Read that again, and slow down.  “If your identity is decided by your actions, your worth is measured by your results.”  This is not a system you want to be held to. We have the option of allowing these kinds of social structures to dominate us, or we can reject them.  Yes, this is actually an extremely common form of worth-measuring in Western cultures. Your results speak for themselves and justify whatever your actions are.  In a nutshell, winning dictates truth.

If you get great results from your fitness activity and that’s palpable to the people in your circle of influence, it must be right/worthwhile/good/true. But what happens when your results aren’t quite as good?  When you get an injury or have to take time off? Who are you? The indicators are gone. The old gym swag you wore is out of fashion and now makes you stand out in the wrong way. Your kipping pull-ups look more like a fish out of water than an athlete setting a new PR.  The people you used to do the activity with have moved away or now go to that new hip facility you don’t even know about. Where is your identity now?

Okay, okay, maybe this is blown out of proportion for many if not most people who exercise.  You may not feel like your identity is indeed dictated by your healthy activities and community associated with them. However, the above rule reigns in more than just the fitness kingdom.  It is alive and well in virtually every career setting. Let’s make a quick modification to apply to your career success: If your identity is decided by your actions as a professional, your worth is measured by your professional results.  “You’re only as good as your last project.” “The proof is in the numbers.” The career world is results-based and has plenty of phrases to summarize that. As it should be. However, your worth, your value, your intrinsic ability to be known and loved and accepted is not results-based.  Succumbing to the rule that you are only worth what you can produce is limiting who you are and what you are capable of. You are not a machine designed to meet output projections. At work or in a gym.

Know that whatever you choose to do, however, you leverage your limited resources, you are not the sum of the results you realize.  Your life is not one large return on investment calculation. Be the best yogi, crossfitter, dancer, climber, manager, accountant, nurse practitioner, or retail clerk you can be all the while knowing that any label is just representing something you do, it’s not even close to describing who you are.

Be realistic, but don’t settle

In the pursuit of any goal, you have to be tenacious to expect progress.  Fitness, health, lifestyle changes are all no different. Except where they are.

Chances are good that we all have made more unhealthy choices than healthy ones.  We grew up scavenging for candy like starving vultures. Circling the candy dishes, sneaking an extra piece or two and rushing off to devour our most recent kill.  We likely begged the adults in our lives to allow us another scoop of ice cream, a milkshake with lunch, a handful of their french fries, or a super mega size sugary fountain drink.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

We continue into adulthood with the inclinations intact.  We tell ourselves things like, “Gosh, work was tiring this week.  Maybe I’ll just indulge a little, not exercise yet, and make some yummy cookies!” We are fully grown people dang-it.  We can do whatever we want. If that means eating a bowl of cookie dough while finishing the last 8 episodes of that show we sort of like but can’t stop watching, that’s what we are going to do.  Period. You can’t stop me.

Photo by John-Mark Smith on Pexels.com

So if and when the point comes when we need to decide to turn our health in a positive direction, we have to battle these old ways.  To battle anything, you must be fierce. You must not surrender. You must win!

Right?

Maaaaybe not.  In my experience, with health-motivated actions anyway, this can actually be a great formula for failure, burnout, and resentment. The problem is we are but human.  We DO get tired. We DO get busy with that home renovation project, that big work assignment, those sick kids, etc… And that interrupts our well-crafted plans to become fitness ninjas.  So what do we have left as a course of action? Forget all about our plans? Forget all about our other life obligations and be muscly yoga hermits? Neither.

I suggest you have clear, achievable effort-based goals and/or attendance goals that are not easily shaken by other life events.  Stating that you will do some kind of Pilates twice a week and cardio once a week is not as sexy sounding as “becoming a size 2” or “having a ripped six pack”.  But there is a major difference between the 2 goals. One is based on factors you can control and the other is not. You can decide to participate in an activity which makes a positive impact on your health.  You cannot force your stomach to become a particular geometric shape, especially one that looks like an ice cube tray.

Think about that for a minute.

Can you BY SHEER FORCE OF WILL tone your butt?  No. You can’t. You can put in the work that “should” make that happen, but in the end, you cannot force results.

In a significant way, we are like farmers.  Our bodies are the soil and our efforts are seeds.  Our only true course of action is to exert effort in the way we best know how and wait for results.  Plant those squats, water with lean protein and rest, and hope a booty will grow.

Don’t settle for lack of activity, for unhealthy diet habits, for a slothful life.  Also, don’t settle for an all–or–nothing mentality. Both will fail you. Instead, realize that you will need to adjust your efforts to conform to the other circumstances in your life.  Make it to the gym 3 times this week even if you only run on the treadmill for 9 minutes each time. You made it. Then next week when things aren’t on fire, get back to work on your regular routine. You will net the most results over the long haul by showing up and doing something. So do it.

DCIM\100GOPRO\G0021069.JPG